


Just A Little Late

by winterfirehair



Category: 13 Reasons Why (TV)
Genre: Blood, Gen, Graphic Description, If You Squint - Freeform, M/M, Suicide Attempt, justlex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-11
Updated: 2018-05-11
Packaged: 2019-05-05 12:26:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,154
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14618532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/winterfirehair/pseuds/winterfirehair
Summary: It's not the first time Alex skips school, but Justin has a bad feeling today. He decides to check on Alex just a little late.





	Just A Little Late

It's not the first time Alex doesn't show up to school.

It's not even unusual behaviour of that teenager. In fact, Alex has missed so many days of school in the last few weeks that he's about to get in serious trouble if this behaviour of his doesn't change. On the days he actually shows up to school people even seem to be geniuely surprised. As if they didn't expect him to come back.

Justin is one of the very few people to notice how Alex skips school most of the time. Crashing at his place every now and then, he also knows that Alex isn't sick at all. Sometimes they even have breakfast together, but when Justin leaves to go to school, Alex stays at home. He's not in the mood to see all these assholes at school, he often says. And Justin understands that.

This time however, it is different. It's Monday and Justin hasn't seen Alex since last Friday when they left school. They both had been busy that weekend: Alex had told him he had to work on a school project to save his grade in one of his courses and Justin had accompanied the other boys to their own little all-weekend-party at Bryce's, despite not being in the mood for it. It had been like this for a while now - Justin would wear a mask around the people he once called friends, pretending to still be a part of the group while in reality, he wasn't. It was easier this way and once he had enough alcohol in his system and shared a joint with someone he could actually make himself believe that he was having fun, that this was what he wanted.

When he had finally gained consciousness again late on Sunday afternoon, there had been a missed call from Alex on his phone. This was weird, Alex usually didn't like to speak on the phone in case his brother or his dad could be listening. But with alcohol and weed still clouding his mind, Justin hadn't bothered to call him back. If it had been important, Alex would've probably called again or sent a text.

He isn't surprised when Alex doesn't show up to their first lesson, but something feels off today. Justin can't quite place the feeling, but he knows deep inside that something is wrong. Fear creeps into his mind, fear that something might have happened to Alex. Maybe his father finally snapped and took the beating a step to far. Maybe someone from the tapes did something to make sure he keeps quiet. After all, the tapes are still a threat to some people, even after all these months. Or maybe he's overreacting and Alex just overslept or isn't in the mood for school.

He doesn't participate in the lessons today and ignores the attempts of others to talk to him. He's spaced out with his thoughts of Alex. By the time the third lesson ends, he has sent Alex five messages, but so far the blond hasn't answered or even read them.

If he was worried before, Justin starts to feel afraid now. Even on the days where Alex stays in bed while Justin goes to school, he's usually awake at this time. He sends a sixth message, just to be sure that Alex maybe just has missed the ones he sent before.

Lunch break comes without any life sign of Alex and Justin can't take the silence anymore. He doesn't bother telling anyone why or where he's going, and it's not like anyone really cares. He's not as bad as Alex, but Justin has earned some sick days himself quite lately.

Walking to Alex' place doesn't take long; Justin reaches the front door within mere minutes. Some time ago, Alex had placed a key for him in one of the flower pots next to the door so Justin could always enter the house; he uses exactly that key like he has done rather often before.

Their little sleepovers had started some weeks after Hannah had committed suicide. Justin had been desperate back then, kicked out of his house with none of his friends by his side. Despite the fact that they hadn't really been friends back then, Alex had let him in, fed him and even awkwardly shared his bed with Justin because he didn't like the thought of the boy having to sleep on the floor. It felt like they were friends. Like Alex cared about him.

In the following weeks and months, the situation had repeated itself several times. By now, neither of them felt awkward anymore when they shared the bed. Alex' had patched up Justin more than once after particularly nasty fights with Seth and in turn, Justin treated Alex' wounds when the blond snapped and started a fight at school again. Which he did quite often - if Justin would've had to guess, he probably would've said that Alex was doing it on purpose. He would provoke a fight and then let himself get beaten to a pulp, coming home with black eyes, bruises on his chin, his cheekbones, his neck, split lips and bloody noses. Like he purposely wants to hurt himself.

Pulling himself out of his thoughts, Justin lets the door fall shut behind him, looking around while putting his backpack aside. Alex' father and brother don't seem to be home.

"Alex?"

There's no answer. Justin feels his stomach clench, but then takes a deep breath to calm down. It's nothing. Nothing happened, Alex is probably listening to music or playing a game so he can't hear him.

Still, Justin can't help but hold his breath as he sneaks up to the second floor and doesn't let it out until he reaches the door to Alex' room. It's closed, but that's not unusual; Alex always closes his door. Justin knocks to announce himself, not waiting for an answer before he enters the room.

The first thing he notices is the smell. It hits him like a brick wall, strong enough to make him cough and gag, to make his eyes tear up. He tastes copper on his tongue as if he had bitten himself, but it's in the air and it makes him feel sick. It's the heavy smell of blood.

It's obvious that something has happened. The bedsheets are stained red and so is one of the walls, big red drops splattered across it, screaming at Justin who feels like he's going to throw up. Alex' room has become a crime scene.

Alex himself is lying on the ground in a dark puddle of what clearly has to be blood, too. He has the pistol still in his hand, his fingers grasping it losely. Justin moves without wanting it, a soft gasp leaving his lips when he finally stands next to the boy, looking down at his seemingly lifeless body before sinking to his knees.

"No, no, no, no. No. Alex, dude. Come on."

He pulls the blond onto his lap, his eyes fixated on the right side of Alex' head where his skin is ripped open and leaking red. The wound is nasty and Justin feels his stomach convulse at the sight. He's never been bothered by blood, but this is too much for him to handle.

And there's so much blood. Blood on Alex' pale cheeks, blood in his bleached hair, blood on his soft lips, blood on Justin's hands. Warm, sticky blood that fills Justin's nose with this sickly sweet scent. Blood that seeps into his clothes and makes them stick to his body, staining his naked skin underneath.

When he finally remembers the phone in his pocket, tears are running down his face. He can't breathe; it's like he's drowning in the copper scent of the room. It takes him several tries to type 911, smearing blood onto his phone's screen in the process.

"911, what's you emergency?"

When a female voice answers, Justin can't let anything out but a sob. He's shaking, trying to breathe, but everything is just too much. Alex is on his lap, slowly drifting into the deepest slumber of them all and while Justin knows the truth deep down, he's not ready to accept that Alex tried to commit suicide. Not his Alex.

"Hello? Please, calm down. How can I help you?"

Her voice is pleasant and calm, but it does nothing for Justin. He's too deep in his panic attack, close to blacking out from the lack of oxygen getting into his body; hyperventilating, he gasps for air.

"My friend... He's been shot... Alex... Alex... Standall... there's so much blood, oh fuck, oh shit..."

"Alright, sir. Can you tell me where you are right now? We will send an ambulence right away."

It takes some tries, but Justin manages to give her the adress before throwing his phone aside and concentrating on Alex again. He's unconcious, his breathing shallow. Justin lets out another sob.

"Don't you dare dying Standall. Don't you... dare..."

Justin rocks back and forth without even realizing it, whispering soothingly to Alex between wet hiccups. He strokes the teen's hair, careful to stay away from where the projectile ripped through his body. He knows that Alex probably can't feel it, but it helps him keeping himself grounded. He can't lose his mind right now. Alex needs him.

It takes far too long for the ambulance to arrive, at least for Justin. He feels like it's been hours since he stumbled into the room, since he pulled this broken boy onto his lap and tried his best to keep Alex from slipping away and himself from going mad. In reality, it's been barely ten minutes since his call when he finally hears the sirens. The blood on his hands hasn't even fully dried yet.

He has to lay Alex back down on the floor to get up and stumble down the stairs to open the door. The two men standing outside don't bother with any questions other than where Alex is, to which Justin silently points upstairs. In the same second they are gone, and Justin has to hold himself upright at the door to not collapse.

Everything happens in a blur from there. Alex is taken to the hospital and while the men clearly feel sorry for Justin, they aren't allowed to let him go with them, as he isn't a family member. So he stays behind with Alex' blood slowly drying to dark brown stains on his skin and clothes.

At one point, over an hour after they left, Alex' brother shows up, clearly upset. Justin lets himself be pulled into a strong hug and nods when Peter asks him if he wants to go to the hospital too. He doesn't say a word, his throat feels dry and sensitive as if he had been screaming for a long time.

"He's going to be okay. The bullet didn't cause that much harm, it's merely a scratch for a gun wound, he's just lost lots of blood. They are currently giving him transfusions, thank god he has a common blood type...", Peter rambles while driving, but Justin can't bring himself to really listen to him.

Alex isn't going to be okay. Hell, he never was okay in the first place, Justin had just been too blind to see it. Now, after it happened, the signs are so obvious that he just wants to slap himself for not seeing them. He, probably the closest Alex has to a best friend right now. He doesn't deserve that title.

"If you hadn't found him when you did...", Peter‘s words fade while Justin falls back into his thoughts.

He almost wouldn't have. That's what pains him the most. If he would've waited just a little longer, Alex would've been gone, just like Hannah. And while losing Hannah had been painful but bearable, the thought of losing Alex isn't.

If Justin had listened to his bad feeling earlier, he might have been able to save Alex before he did this to himself. Before he almost died. Before he attempted to commit suicide.

He had been too late. Just a little, but too late after all. And when Alex needed him the most - what did he do? Where was he? Smoking pot at the house of his ex-girlfriend's rapist instead of being there for the only true friend in his life. And Alex had needed him. He had called Justin because he had needed his friend. And afterwards, he had probably waited for a call that never came. Waited and decided.

Alex Standall didn't have thirteen reasons to end his life, but one thing is for sure: Justin is one of them.

☆ Lost and insecure  
You found me, you found me  
Lying on the floor  
Surrounded, surrounded  
Why'd you have to wait?  
Where were you? Where were you?  
Just a little late  
You found me, you found me ☆


End file.
